NFL Prospect’s Stock Falling Cause of Blunt Fetish Tuesday 27 March, 2012

By: Kaptain Kush

jack crawford

Penn State defensive end Jack Crawford is 6’5″ and 274 pounds. I doubt smoking blunts affects his God-given freakish size and athletic ability or the impact he will have in the NFL. But the projected 5th round pick is now undoubtedly having his “character” and “dedication” questioned because of an old bait and switch pulled by the State College pig patrol.

Hopefully Crawford’s draft position is not affected by this horse manure of a report.

According to a report from’s Laura Nichols, the apartment was searched by police at approximately 4 pm on March 14 after a Resident Life coordinator reported that a window screen outside of the apartment was damaged. Police entered the apartment when no one answered the door based on their suspicion that a robbery might be occurring in the second story apartment. Once inside, the drug paraphernalia was in plain sight, which prompted police to obtain a search warrant. Upon closer inspection, police discovered blunts, a grinder which still contained marijuana, marijuana buds, and a scale, among other items. [CBS]

It’s tough deciding who’s the bigger schmohawk in this situation: the RA or the po-po. When you’re an RA, you pretty much have two tasks that actually matter: make sure no one is suicidal and if anyone drinks to the point where they need medical attention, alert the proper authorities. A cracked window is just not something you need to go to campus safety about or something that should make you think “I better call the cops, there could be some grand theft occurring.” It’s a college campus: shit happens. Contact your residents about the window, report it to whoever handles building repairs, and get on with your game of World of Warcraft.

Then you got the campus police/cops, who pulled what can only be described as a classic cop move. When cops go to¬†”inquire” about something probably trivial and instead “stumble upon” drugs, I imagine they react somewhat like Eric Cartman when he finds Kyle was voted the ugliest kid in the grade. Pure and utter delight/cackling in evil. Cops revel in these situations. Obtaining a search warrant because you see a grinder or a pipe in your peripheral sight is simply ludicrous. It’s not like they walked into the room to Crawford and his homies ripping bongs and blowing shotties into prostitutes’ mouths.

In 95% of college dorms, you’re going to find some type of illicit substance or activity. You entered the room to make sure that a robbery wasn’t taking place. The alleged robbery wasn’t even remotely in the cards. But the cops snooped around and now a defensive end has to deal with bullshit media coverage and the possibility of slipping down and perhaps out of the NFL draft. It’s utterly preposterous that a) the cops pulled this bait and switch-like maneuver and b) that this “news” has even made it to NFL executive.

As for if smoking weed means that a player cannot , well, take a goddamn look at Ricky Williams or Michael Irvin’s statistics (and ignore the footnotes).

If all of the donut-fondling turds in this world would simply take Chris Rock’s advice and, on occasion, just Let. It. Sliiiiiide. The world would be a much chiller place.

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